Still Human
by lord-of-darium
Summary: Simon contemplates his feelings for Mal while he lays on the opporating table


Still Human

Mal/Simon

I don't own Firefly or any of the characters. This is just for fun.

Two hours. Two hours they had been gone on a job that was suppose to take thirty minutes. For Mal to be gone for this long with now word, only one reason could be plausible, trouble. Simon stood over a tray of medical supplies in the infirmary. He was prepping for the inevitable call of injury. Jobs didn't go this long over schedule without someone being stabbed, shot or beaten within an inch of their lives.

Simon took time to inventory everything he had. Scissors, stitches, gauze, needles and, of course, lots and lots of sedatives. Simon arranged these items so he could have fast access to them as he needed them. His mind wondered as he prepped the room for use. He had patched up almost every member of Serenity's crew. It was a very different life from the hospital on Osiris.

Patients he saw back then were just another face when they entered and were the same when they left. Here, he knew all of his patients personally. Loosing a patient here meant loosing a friend. This fact both aided and hindered his ability to perform his duties.

Saving your friends lives made you go that extra mile or take that necessary risk that you knew you should take in the E.R. They say that a mother saving her child could find the strength to lift a hovercraft. He believed the same for doctors who were saving their friends. It felt like it gave him the ability to go beyond his schooling or skills.

The downside was that emotions tended to cloud the mind. They had a tendency to overtake you and assume control. Trust, loyalty, friendship, and most of all love, had a tendency to take the wheel. This job had helped him come to many self realizations. Out in the black, he had the chance to search his soul for who he really was.

At first, he had thought the obvious crush that Kaylee had on him was wonderful. He could easily see himself falling for her and making her dreams come true. The problem was it didn't follow his dreams.

Try as he could, he could not get the captain off his mind. It was he who had taken him in and put him to work. Mal was the hand that reached out through the darkness of uncertainty and kept him safe. He saw Mal as a protector. Mal was leading him out of that darkness.

His thoughts for Mal grew far past friendship and admiration. Of all the crew members on board Serenity, he had been in the infirmary the most. As sadistic as it sounded, a small piece of Simon's heart looked forward to Mal getting injured. It would be then he would come into this room and see the captain lying there on the bed with his burgundy shirt unbuttoned, displaying a new wound. The though started to make his heart race. He could already see the captain lying on the bed exposing his beautiful body. His chest was a story book of scars that came together to tell the tale of a war hero. It was his past that had made him the strong spirited individual that he loved about him the most.

A call over the intercom snapped him out of his fantasy. It was Zoe's voice and from the panic in her tone, his predictions were correct.

"Simon!" Her voice yelled from over the announcement system. "I need the infirmary prepped now!" Simon ran to his call box and pressed the small black button to activate it.

"Prepped and ready," he said. "What's the problem?"  
"Captain's been injured!" She announced. "Jayne'n Book are bringing him to ya."

"Got it." Simon moved from the call box and pulled some gloves from the drawer. His heart raced at the thought of Mal once again lying on the bed. He shook his head as if to shake the image from his mind. The captain was injured and this was not the time for daydreaming. He had a job to do.

Jayne and Book burst into the room carrying Mal. They wasted no time laying him out on the bed.

"Drop point was a gorram ambush!" Jayne said. "We were able to secure the goods but Mal here took a knife hit." Mal stirred as he lay on the bed.

"It's just a little scratch!" He said. "Just give me a bandage and let me go back to work!" Simon laughed to himself as he prepped a needle with a sedative. Mal's strong will was by far the most attractive part of his personality. He was a war hardened soul who wasn't satisfied with the outcome unless he had reached it himself.

"He'll be fine," Simon said.

"You're damn right I will be," Mal answered, though the statement was not directed at him. "Don't see what the big fuss is all about. It's just a scratch." Jayne and Book exited the room, closing the door behind them. Now, it was just Mal and Simon alone together.

Simon began by administering the sedative. Mal let out a small groan of discomfort as Simon stuck the cold needle into his arm. Simon smiled. The small moan was cute in its own way. It was a reminder that Mal was still human; no matter how larger then life he seemed. It showed that he could feel pain, and with that fact in mind, it was likely he could open himself up to feel pleasure.

"Ok now," Simon said. "Let's take a look at this _little scratch_." Simon stood over the captain, his head blocking the brilliant white light from shining in his eyes. The halo of light that surrounded his head illuminated his face as it struggled to choose an expression that wouldn't match his emotions. With shaky hands and short breaths, he slowly undid the buttons of Mal's burgundy shirt. His heart raced as more and more of Mal's naked skin became exposed to the bright lights of the infirmary.

Each button seemed to reveal a new scar. Each scar was a story, and he wanted to know all of them. More then the scars; his gorgeous chest was proof of the hard work associated with life on the outer rim. Mal didn't work out nor did he care about the way he looked. His handsome figure was the result of a hard life of running from oppression and chasing what small glimmer of real freedom he could find. His body was hard earned and displayed the man's many sacrifices.

Simon noticed a smile cross the captain's face as he uncovered the bloody wound that crossed the side of his stomach. The drugs were kicking in and were starting to relax him; both mind and heart.

"Just a scratch, hu?" Simon said in a playful manner. "Haven't seen many scratches that needed stitches."

"It can't be that bad," Mal answered. His speech was becoming slurred as a result of the drugs. Simon looked up from the wound to see that rare adorable smile radiating from his face. Simon couldn't help but stare. A smile from the stone cold captain was another rare proof of his humanity. The site brought warmth to his heart as he too began to grin from ear to ear.

"Don't worry," Simon said. He was taking this rare occasion to be comforting to him for all he could. He had come across the captain a few times when he was alone and dwelling on the past. He would stand in the shadows and watch as Mal's expression twisted with the memories of the war. He would become shut off. Simon wanted nothing more then to just hold him. Now words would be necessary. He just wanted to show that he was there and that he wasn't alone.

"You're going to be fine," Simon said. Simon moved to the table to get his supplies. He was well prepared and had a tray ready with all he needed for a basic stitch job. Mal turned his head and smiled at the doctor.

"I trust you," he said softly. Simon was thankful that he was facing away because he couldn't help but smile upon hearing those words. A heartfelt compliment from the captain was a rare gift. To be honest, Simon could not recall ever receiving a comment from the captain that had feeling in it. Simon returned to the captain's side and went to work stitching the wound. He had to force himself to keep his attention on his work. His gaze wanted to wonder up to Mal's face as it tensed and loosened with each stitch of the needle. Simon found it cute to see the seemingly superhuman captain show his human side.

"You know doc," Mal said in his impaired state. His talking forced Simon's attention to his face. "One day I might be on this table with a problem you can't fix." Simon was not foreign to this thought. It crossed his mind every time the captain got injured.

"Don't talk like that," was all he could say in return. Simon tried to back to his work but Mal reached out and took his hand. Simon's gaze darted back up as he looked into the captain's eyes.

He could see that Mal was actually scared. The thought had obviously been on his mind for a while too. It must have been the drugs that were causing the emotion to breach the walls of his soul and shine forth. For the longest time, they just stared at each other. Neither one of them knew what to do next. Simon slowly extended his other hand and placed it softly on Mal's cheek.

"I will always save you," Simon said softly. He had never seen actual fear in the captain's eyes. It was another harsh reminder that the man was just as human as he was. He slowly leaned down and softly pressed his lips to his. His heart raced as he felt the captain's soft lips pressed against his. It was a feeling he had always wondered about ever since he had developed his feelings for the man.

He slowly pulled away from the captain and looked into his eyes. It was likely that he wouldn't even remember this moment once the drugs wore off; but Simon would treasure it forever.

"Now," he said with a smile. "Let's finish fixing you up."


End file.
